My Poetry, Philosophy, Thoughts and Ideas.


Love of Divine

The fire of love
extinguishes the pain of suffering
the heat of love
burns the ignorance of separation
the Truth of Love
fuels the wisdom of Oneness
the Words of Love
cools the mind in longing
the expression of Love
freezes time and space
the cry of love
melts the heart to innocence
the Love of Love
is thy very nature, very Self ,
this very existance, this very creation



you are a living force
in my leakng boat
the indivisible energy
in my decaying cell
the changeless truth
of my wandering mind
the deathless being
amidst decaying matter
the silent sea
amidst its roaring waves
the stillness wick
amidst the dancing flames
the empty space
in the filling world
the silent observer
amidst the enacting mind
the constructive force
amidst destructive Shiva
the yang of Tao
the Cosmic energy of Shiva
she is Shivoham Shivoham
of Sankara's Nirvana shatakam


A Hero's Gita

If my blood were to protect its borders
my breath were to defend its dharma
my life were to protect its men
may I lay it before you mother

sacrifice is not for rejoice, but remeberance
life is not for bloodshed but brotherhood
war is not for peace nor victory
may i lay it before you brother

war of hearts is evil
war of emotions is hatred
war of minds is conflict
may i lay it before you stranger

every war, is a mental kurushetra
every soldier, is a mortal Arjuna
every life , is a priceless Gita
may i lay it before you maha Bharat

for motherland its martyrdom
for family its pride
for you its my life
may i lay it before you

You can forget us the heros
Forget not the stupidity of war
For if another one were to fought
you wouldnt want to sing this song


"They died for a stranger. That stranger is YOU" - LOC

"They'd promised their families they'd come back soon. They more than kept their word. Went as mere men. Came back as heroes. In coffins."

The successfull war was codenamed "Operation Vijay" and was the only war fought at the heights of over 15,000 to 18,000 feet. LOC , the movie was as close to authentic in location, in amunition used in the film and that most of the particpants were real army men.

Following were some of the Regiments shown in the Film

1. 8 Sikh
2. 2 Rajputana Rifles
3. 18th Grenadiers
4. 4th, 17th JAT
5. 1/11 Gorkha Rifles
6. 13 JAK Rifles
7. Artillery Regiments

< To map the different units and the locations of fight split across Drass-Kargil-Batalik sectors>

Is Non Violence a form of Violence? - Osho on Gandhiji

This is continum to the topic of Non violence and i would like to show some different opinions on the same topic , for example by Osho in his book Krishna : The Man and His Philosophy. Osho has met gandhi only twice, and that too when he was as young as ten, its upto the readers discretion.

"Life does not consist of two disctinct colors, white and black. life is just gray, always a mixture of white and black varying. In this context men like Gandhi are just utopians, dreamers, idealists who are completely divorced from reality. Krishna is in direct contact with life and he is not utopian. For him life's work begins by accepting as it is.

what gandhi calls "pure means" are not really pure and cannot be. Maybe pure ends and pure means are available in what the hindus call Moksha, or space or freedom. But in mundane world everything is alloyed with dirt. Not even gold is unalloyed.

For example Gandhi thinks fasting is a kind of right means to a right end. And like his last fast he resorts to fast unto death., every now and then. If a threat to kill another person is wrong , how can the threat to kill oneself be right? If it is wrong for me to make you accept what i say by pointing gun at you, how can it be right if i make you accept the same thing by pointing gun at myself?. It would be a greater wrong on my part if i ask you to accept my views with the threat if you dont , iam going to kill myself. If i threaten to kill you, you have an option, a moral opputunity to die and refuse to yield to my pressure. But if i threaten to kill myself , i make you very helpless, because you may not like to take the responsibility of my death on yourself.

gandhi once undertook such a fast unto death to put pressure on Ambedkar , Ambedkar had to finally yield to gandhi pressures, but said later Gandhi would be wrong to think he had changed his heart and still believed he was right and Gandhi was wrong but in order not take the moral repsonsibility of the consquence he had to yield.

It makes no difference whether i threaten to kill you or to kill myself to make you accept my view. In either case iam using pressure and violence. Infact when i threaten to kill you, i give you a choice to die with dignity, to tell me you would rather die than yield to my view which is wrong. But when i threaten you with my own death , then i deprive you of the option to die with dignity. I put you in real dilemma . Either you have to yield and accept you are wrong or you take the responsibility of my death onto you. You are going to suffer guilt in every way and there is no choice."

But all said "Satyameva Jayate" (Truth Alone wins), without Gandhi ways and means i feel still independence or India unique approach to independence would not have been heard , so far to inspire leaders like Martin Luther.


Line of Control

Yesterday i happened to watch the movie called Line of Control. I came to deal with the facts of Pakistan attempted inflitration along the line of control in Kashmir and third consecutive battle lost with India.

The movie was mainly about JAT and Grenadier troops fighting to take control of Tololing, Drass, Kargil, Batalik and Tiger Hill. The story was based on the actual fights that took place with the pakistan army (3,4,5,6 Northern Light Infantry Batallion) and mujahideens. The idea to use Mujahideens is to give a face lift that it was a JIHAD and not a Pakistani administered invasion. Eventhough a total of 10 batallions comprising of 40,000 soldiers took place, the film restricted it to 8 batallions owing to the movie length ( which was the longest movie of yer 2003 for 4 hours).

The kargil conflict began in June 1st of 1999, the whole conflict began initially as infiltrators were trying to enter through Drass, Batalik and Kargil sectors supported by Pakistan Infantry division .

The initial aim of Pakistani supported mujahideens was to cut the Srinagar leh Highway 1A in the Drass sector. Indian Air Force was brought in to bomb the pakistani proposed positions and Defense minister of India offers a "safe passage " for infiltrators to end the conflict but in vain.

US government intervenes and is in clear support on india's position and urges pakistan to withdraw the infiltrators- June 5th

The idea behind Pakistan to hit Drass is to cut of supplies to Indian troops fighting in Kargil and Batalik sectors. Drass , Kargil and Batalik are bordering Indian administered Kashmir , while Tololing and Tiger hill are actually in the Line of Control.

India sucessfully prevents infiltration bid in Drass , Kargil and Batalik but Pakistani led mujahideen is still in control of 5140 peak, Tololing and Tiger Hill.

To capture Tiger Hill, the Indian controlled position from Drass-Kargil sector attack and more troops from south of Poonch sector make headway to Tiger Hill.

Pakistan in a bid to stop more indian troops entering from Poonch sector attacks in Poonch. Pakistan opens yet another new front across Line of control fighting in Gurez, Tulail sectors between Poonch and Drass.

The idea could be to

1. Still stop Indian Army using Srinagar Leg highway to send in food and arms supplies to the troops in Drass and Kargil sectors
2. if sucessfull in the new opened sectors of Gurez and Tualail, they wouldbe able to still stop Indian army advancing victoriously from Poonch.
3. They could strengthen the position in the nearby still Pakistan held position of Tiger Hill and Tololing.

June 13 -Batalik and Kargil sectors fighting take place time and again and Army captures Tololing.

Jun 14 Army captures 4590 peak in Drass sector.

June 17 India cross Loc in Skardu village north of Kargil.

June 18th indian troops capture Jubbar

June 21 India captures 5140 peak in Tiger Hill.

June 28th Indian troops foil bid by Pakistan to capture Siachen ( north of Jubar, not shown in map).

Peak 4700 and 5100 are captures subsquently by end of June strengthening position on Tiger Hill.

Kriya Yoga

Kriya Yoga is a discipline involving purification of the body-mind through breath control techniques to aid health and spiritual evolution. From the ancient master called Mahavatar babaji (a himalayan yogi , still believed to be living and more than 1,800 years old), Buddha, to current masters like Sri Sri ravi Shankar (Sudarshana Kriya) , Kriya Yoga and importance of breath techniques has always been given importance.

1. Lex Hixon in his book GreatSwan, Chapter :Advaita Vedanta also quotes Sri Ramakrishna teachings of chanting SoHAM (Iam that) accompanied with rhythymic inhalation/exhalation breathing techniques.

2. in Ananda Sutta or Anaspasati Sutta (Mindfullness of breathing) , Buddha sermons to Ananda on importance of having to focus on in and out breathing.

3. In the book "Strength of Stillness" by Aurobindo he mentions as follows "The greatest exertions are made with the breath held in; the faster the breathing, the more the dissipation of energy. He who in action can cease from breathing,--naturally, spontaneously,--is the master of Prana, the energy that acts and creates throughout the universe. It is a common experience of the Yogin that when thought ceases, breathing ceases,--the entire kumbhak effected by the Hathayogin with infinite trouble and gigantic effort, establishes itself easily and happily,--but when thought begins again, the breath resumes its activity. But when the thought flows without the resumption of the inbreathing and outbreathing, then the Prana is truly conquered. This is a law of Nature"
4. Svetashvatara Upanishad , Shankara quotes Yagnavalkya after explainign the postures and ambience of the meditation as "Then should be practiced Pranayama composed of Rechaka (exhalation), Kumbhaka (retention), and Puraka (inhalation). Joining the Prâna with the Apâna is Pranayama. In sixteen Matras filling the body from the head to the feet, in thirty-two Matras the Prana is to be thrown out, and with sixty-four the Kurnbhaka should be made...."


Power of Now

"What is the power of NOW" from the book Power of NOW by Eckhart Tolle.

None other than the power of your presence , your consciousnes liberated from forms. Deal with the past on the level of the present. The more attention you give to the past, the more you energize it , the more likely you are to make a "self" out of it.Dont misunderstand. Attention is essential but not to the past as past. Give attention to the present. Give attention to your behaviour, to your reactions, moods, thoughts, emotions, fears, and desires as they occur in the present. There is the past in you. If you can be present enough to watch all those things, not critically or analytically or judgementally then you are dealing with the past and dissolving it through the power of presence. You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You find yourself by coming into the present.

Questioner: Isn't it helpful to understand the past and so understand why we do certain things, react in certain ways, or why we unconsciously create our particular kind of drama , patterns in relationships and so on?

As you become more conscious of your present reality , you may suddenly get certain insights as to why your conditiong functions in those particular ways. For example why your relationships follow certain patterns, and you may remember things that happened in the past or see them more clearly. That is fine and helpful but it is not essential. What is essential is your conscious presence. That dissolves the past. That is the transformative agent.So dont seek to understand the past but be as present as you can.The past cannot survive in your presence. It can only survive in your absence.
You cant think about Presence and the mind cant understand it. Understanding presence is simply being present.

Try a little experiment . Close your eyes and say to yourself : "I wonder what my next thought is going to be " Then become very alert and wait for the next thought. Be like a cat watching a mouse hole. What thought is going to come out of the mouse hole.Try it now.

I had to wait for quite a long time before a thought came in.

Exactly. You are in state of intense presence, you are free of thought. You are still , yet highly alert. The instant your conscious attention sinks below a certain level, thought rushes in. The mental noise returns; the stillness is lost. You are back in Time.


My insights

A direction is a must , a goal isnt
A practice is a must , a specific path isnt
An effort is a must , its measurement isnt
As a need is a must, interest isnt
Knowledge is a must, details isnt
sincerity is a must , its outcome isnt
NOW is a must, Next isnt


An Intimate Communion with Myself

I realised that in my past few years, i have totally been nourished & elevated only by my prayers and by others blessings

Prayer is a communion in silence to the higher self
Blessing is compassion on realising the One-Self
Prayer is seeking , becomes thankfullness
Blessing is Giving and becomes generosity
Prayer is Hope , Blessing is Knowing
Prayer can be in many forms ,Blessing is formless
When you take it from the Divine it is Prayer
When you give from the Divine it is Blessing

Art of Living -2

Excerpt from Sri Sri Ravishankar's Celeberating Silence

Knowledge is a burden
if it Robs you of innocence
Knowledge is a burden
if it makes you feel you are special
Knowledge is a burden
if it gives you an idea you are wise
Knowledge is a burden
if it is not integrated in life
Knowledge is a burden
if it does no bring you joy
Knowledge is a burden
if it does not set you free

Art of Living -1

An excerpt from Sri Sri RaviShankar's Celeberating Silence

Stretching sound is music
Stretching movement is dance
Stretching smile is laughter
Stretching mind is meditation
Stretching life is celeberation
Stretching devotee is god
Stretching feeling is estacy
Stretching emptiness is bliss
- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar


Love & Separation

An intimate note to the Beloved within

Doubts create separation
Not separation creates doubts

Separation is Suffering, not Learning
for love alone is oneness

Love between minds is bound by separation of time and space
love between hearts is bound by separation of emotions & feelings
Love between souls is never ever bounded by boundaries of relationship

Such a love without relationships thus can never created nor can be destroyed
it is as old as the mountains , as old as time , yet young and rejuvenative every moment

dreams can cause expectations,
expectations can cause judgment
judgment can cause choices
choices can cause confusion
where confusion exist, there is fear to choose the right
fear causes conflicts
separation is always within not without
loving oneself ceases this seperation ,
Alas ! I had to be loved to learn iam love


Nature of Duality as i See

Its known from Theoritical & Quantum Physics that both Photon and Electron has the capability of exhibiting Dual aspect.

1. The wave aspect
2. The particle aspect

The two aspects are Complimentary and Not Contradictory for following reasons

They are Mutually exclusive hence complimentary, it would be contradictory only if the two aspects can be observed at the same time but this never happens.

A pair of opposites is always complimentary like Yin & Yang , Good and Bad etc... Duality is essentially conceiving the same in its various aspects, attributes or perception to bring about a state of mutual exclusiveness, what we call opposites, which can be preconceived as desirable or undesirable by the state of mind that instant.

Duality is the complimentary nature of seeing the same object as opposites which infact is One. The complimentary nature or Opposites are the states defined by the mind whose very nature is fragmentation ( thoughts).
Fragmentation of opposites to its Complimentary nature doesnt cause contradiction but conflicts and confusion, for the nature of Oneness is seen wrong in duality or plurality.


Woman in Vedic Literature

Excerpt from an email received from Tunga Vidya

Woman seers where called Rishikas and male seers as Rishis.

now a rishi is equivalent to a prophet in semitic religions. they 'saw' (rishayo mantraa drashtaarah) the great hidden meanings of the vedic mantras and made them known to the people.

that was the highest privilege of vedic religion and it was not denied to women. there were great sages like lopamudra, romasa, visvavara, angirasi sasvati, apala, sraddha kamayani, vasukra patni, ghosa, urvasi, juhu, vaak ambhrini, paulomi shachi and the list goes on (these rishikas i've named are only of the rigved, there are three other vedas).

not only that, we had erudite philosophers like gargi and maitreyi who faced and argued with the sages of their day (their dialogues on the nature of the self and the universe are recorded in the brahmana granths and the upanishads).

btw here's some more quotes :

'Just as boys acquire sound knowledge and culture by the practise of Brahmacharya and then marry girls of their own choice, who are young, well-educated, loving and of like temperment, so should a girl practise Brahmacharya, study the Vedas and other sciences and thereby perfect her knowledge, refine her character and give her hand to a man of her own choice who is young, learned and loving.'

- Atharva Ved

'The educated girl who leads a virtuous life and acquires honour by her achievements, wishes for a husband who is intelligent and brave. She experiences happiness by leading a life full of love with a man of integrity, nobility of character and conduct.'

- Rig Ved 6.49.7

'Divinity resides in families in which women are respected; and where they are not, there is ruin.'

- Manu 3.56

'There is rapid destruction of those families in which womenfolk suffer. Where the womenfolk do not have difficulties, that family always prospers.'

- Manu 3.57

'Where women, insulted or dishonoured, curse the household, that family is destroyed as if by poison.'

- Manu 3.58

'That family is certainly blessed where there is mutual satisfaction and co-operation between husband and wife.'

- Manu 3.60

'When the women in the home are happy, the whole family is happy. The unhappiness of women results in the unhappiness of the whole family.'

- Manu 3.62

'The rank of one acharya (principal) is equal to ten ordinary teachers; the rank of one father is equal to that of one hundred acharyas. The rank of one mother is equal to that of a thousand fathers.'

- Manu 2.145


With you

If it were worth to live this life
Let that be spent in realizing oneself
If it is worth the strife
Let that be spent, contemplating on himself
If it were worth to live with a wife
It would be none other but yourself
If I were to die, let thy name be my last outcry
As long as I happen to live, the moments with u outlive
The heart that bleeds to write these missives
Is as divine as our love, always kept captive


Far & Near

Know not I, why we born in different place
Was it your choice or was it mine, neither is the case
Brought together, are we by divine’s grace
The truth of which our hearts encase
In that union, our worries efface
Enjoying those moments, off we race
Even though separated far, by time and space
Through words of love, we embrace
In this longing,
Days become months and months become years
But the love for u never ceases, my Dear
I close my eyes to not let, fall that tear
But the moment I open, you will appear
Does it matter therefore, whether u r there or here
Inside me is your abode, you’re always near
Beholding your beauty,
I see thy light
The fire in me as sparks ignite
Those sparks of wisdom, does incite
Too see this world with love’s insight
As earth and heaven be as twins
As bad and good respectively always loses and wins
O! My queen, can I be thy prince
Living to love thereof since


A true Insight

you alone can here my music
the music of my soul melting
melting to thy intense love
the notes that come
are my very heartbeats
the thoughts that pour
are my joys upbeat
i stand as rock
amidst the barren desert
but my heart still soft
dancing to love's concert
what i cant see thru two eyes
u made me see thru third eye
that love is blind
says so our great minds
days of pain
one day would be fine
this wisdom that i gain
shows nothing was in vain
as smile or tear
at highs and lows
from east or west
by brown or white
love is love
a true insight
is still with me
and will ever be



Excerpts from the book "Paradigm Wars" - Worldviews for New age by Mark Woodhouse, one of the famous new age thinkers and writers.

in Chapter Time: Leading Edge to Eternity , he defines determinist in following points

Of the two philosophies of nature , Determinist and Creationist, the Creationist perspective better captures the new paradigm thinkng about nature of time.
Determinist - Newton, Hawking
Creationist - Prigogine, Whitehead

1. We must rely on Probability because of limitations of Human Knowledge
2. Belief in Irreversibility is tied to the assumption that the future is open and past is closed.
3. The asymmetry of open future and closed past is a function of our need to rely on probability rather than predictability.
4. BELIEF IN IRREVERSIBILITY is a subjective projection of our own limitation onto nature.
5. All physical process at both micro and macro levels are in principle irreversible.
6. Microlevels of physics are more real than consciousness
7. Creative advance and novelty are essentialy artifacts, the rearrangement of preexisting matter and energy
8. All events are caused , eventhough we are precluded from knowing the causes of certain microlevel quantum events.
9.Since all events are caused there is no genuine creativity, there is no freedom
10. If there was god, he /she/it would see future as clearly as past.

1. We must rely on probability because nature is itself probabilistic, both chaotic and creative.
2. Irreversibility is tied to other things in addition to open future
3. The feature is open because it has not happened, not merely because we cannot predict with 100 percent accuracy
4.Reversibility is found in nature at certain levels , not merely projected there.
5. Some physical process are reversible and some are not
6. All levels are real
7. Creative advance and novelty are built into nature and involve more than rearrangement of the parts.
8. Since all objects and events are interconnected in diverse ways, "All events are caused" means something cannot come from nothing.
9. Since determinism fails as a comphrensive paradigm, there is room for creative advance through free will and choice.
10. If god saw everything through the future , there would be less reason for creation in the first place.


Assasination of Mahatma Gandhi

I have been reading lately a book called "Assasination of Mahatma Gandhi" its by a Jaico Publication, 1969. It talks in detail about a set of steps leading to Gandhi's assasination.

The book talks about the possibility of peole in higher power behind the conspiracy other than prime and apprehended accused in the case.

Prime Accused

1. Nathuram Godse
2. Narayan Apte


1. Badge
2. Gopal Godse
3. Madanlal
4. Shankar
5. Karkare

Higher Powers Suspected

1. Sarvarkar
2. XXX

Ideological Difference leading to Gandhi Assasination

1. Gandhi being too biased to Muslims
2. Gandhi persitent fasts in getting things done against the ideology of Hindu Sabhas
3. Gandhi insistence to pay 55 crores to the newly formed muslim state of Pakistan

Other Targets in Assasination Plot
1. Nehru
2. Suhrawardy

Principal Plotters
1. Nathuram Godse
2. Narayan Apte

Weapons used
1. Gelatin sticks genades
2. Revolver
3. Beretta Automatic Pistol(Principal Weapon which shot Gandhi)

Pistol exhibit
1. A Beretta 1934 semi-automatic pistol in .380 ACP caliber, serial number 606824.
2. 7 bullets loaded
3. 3 Bullets fired Gandhi in Chest, Diapghram, Stomach
4. Godse intention to fire only 2 Bullets and was unaware that he pulled the trigger thrice.
5. Purchased from possibly Parchure

Nathuram Godse - Assasin of Gandhi

Godse as a personality is very very interesting and by far the most complex to understand of assasins any time in history, to kill such a powerful leader of Non Violence , someone to the stature of Gandhi.

1. Godse was at the time 37 year old and single and spent his whole life single, fighting for independence against British

2. He was a great freedom writer and well versed in marathi as he was the editor in chief for the paper called "Hindu Rashtra"

3. He was very strong in his ideologies and never ever a blind follower nor was swayed by what masses thought or felt, he did what was right to his heart and joined Hindu Mahasabha as a pacifist by holding silent and peaceful demonstrations.

4. He never ever spoke personally abot Gandhi and admired him as a human being but hated the ideologies springing forth which he felt was too biased to Muslims and unjust in some case with Hindus.

5. He had great respect for his Idol Veer Sarvarkar and truly was a disciple to the fullest and sincere sense when he was working under the Hindu mahasabha. Eventhough like many he was a volunteer and actvist , he would not blindly follow what was given to him but would reason and question and in tht process would reject or suggest alternative ideas during the freedom struggle and hindu-muslim violence.

6. This is what he had to say "Before I fired the shots I actually wished him(gandhi) well and bowed to him in reverence"

7. His chargesheet statement referring to gandhi as Gandhiji clearly marks the respect he had for him all the way through. "But above all I studied very closely what Veer (brave) Savarkar and Gandhiji had written and spoken, as to my mind these two ideologies have contributed more to the moulding of the thought and action of the Indian people during the last thirty years or so, than any other factor has done. "

8. he was a historian who studied the ancient history of America, Russia, France and Britan and also studied the tenets of Socialism and marxism.

9. A follower on teachings of dadabhai Naoroji, Vivekananda, Tilak , he never believed in caste system and had demonstrated numerous anti caste protests. "Born in a devotional Brahmin family, I instinctively came to rever Hindu religion, Hindu history and Hindu culture. I had, therefore, been intensely proud of Hinduism as a whole. As I grew up I developed a tendency to free thinking unfettered by any superstitious allegiance to any isms, political or religious. That is why I worked actively for the eradication of untouchability and the caste system based on birth alone."

10. A man of no regrets, and a nationalist , he wanted after his death to spread his ashes in the Sindh river ater which the word India derived from. He as ready to give up his life and sacrifice, he was ready to take the life of a Mahatma for what he felt would bring justice and not the continued threats of fasting to death by Gandhiji , which IS NOT AHIMSA BUT A CLEAR MARK OF SELF INFLICTED VIOLENCE.

Neither it was right nor it was wrong , like Subash Chandra bose who wanted to fight for freedom based on the Hindu Dharma principles , so was Gandhi with his so called Self inflicted Violence , but the due credit if it should go to one single person , it should to Gandhi as the world as and will never see an unmatches leader like him ever again.

This was what Albert Einstein had to say about Gandhiji "Generations to come, it may be, will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth"


Non Violence

excerpts from an email sent by Amber Temkin

"Non-violence is a value in the sense that one must hold the idea in some esteem and see value in the action and outcome of said action. Non-violence is not the absence of violence. It is an action, just as violence is an action. Non-violence is not submission to violence either.

As all values, I believe that one must start with onself. The idea epitomises that one does not allow/tolerate violence to be used against oneself. What is violence in this context? Anything from allowing oneself to stay in an unhealthy relationship, eating too much food or too little, not giving oneself enough sleep, working too much, expoilting or otherwise abusing one's body, mind, freedoms, etc. to the other extreme of allowing others to do such violence onto you."


A Beloved Prince

i glanced upon your inward eyes
was the dance of divine love to entice
longing for the beloved , your heart that cries
there would come thy beloved, in disguise
not a mythical hero , as u despise
but a handsome prince , to thy suprise



Separated are we by the terrestrial maps
as so-called patriots, and in national hero wraps
Separated are we by the time’s lapse
As young and old generation gaps
Separated are we by colors and race traps
The languages and culture different perhaps
Separated are we by religion and ideology craps
Chains of distinct Faiths and Beliefs that never snaps
Separated are we from our own inner Self
None else can but your mind alone will help


Love Unites

A soul is born, lighting the stars in the skies
Those stars do die, in the heavenly sun rise
Begets them all, the nature never dies
Binding us all, this love unites


Principles of Software Engineering

Excerpts from Software Project Management from Barry Boehm.

1. Make Quality No 1
2. High Quality Software is Possible
3. Give products to Customers early.
4. Determine the problem before writing the requirements.
5. Evaluate Design Alternatives
6.Use an Appropriate process Model
7. Use different language for different phases
8. Minimize intellectual distance
9. Put techniques before tools
10.Get it right before you make it faster
11. Inspect and Review Code
12. Good management is more important than good technology
13. People are the key to success
14. Follow with care
15. Take responsibility
16. Understand Customer Priorities
17. The more they see (customer), more they need
18. Design for change
19. Document everything
20. Avoid Tricks
21. Encapsulate
22. Analyze cause fo errors
23. People and time are not interchangeable
24. Use software tools but be realistic
25. Expect excellence


Upanishad & Bicycles - The Answer ? - Part 4

Since it is peace and happiness which most people are after, it is best to begin by identifying the cause of the mental disease called unhappiness and investigate the nature of the remedies which we may possess. Let us ask: What makes one unhappy ?
The easiest way to analyse this question is to think about some incident in your life which caused you lot of unhappiness recently. An unfulfilled desire, leading part of your brain to produce repeatedly a sequence of thoughts over which the rest of the brain has no control - this is what all pangs of unhappiness boil down to. It should be clear now that the problem can be attacked only by either of the following two strategies: (1) The first strategy is completely subjective; it consists of training our brain not to produce any uncontrolled responses when confronted by external stimuli. It is obvious that such a perfect control over one's brain will ensure eternal peace and happiness, totally independent of the external circumstances. (2) The second strategy, which is what we usually try out in our quest for happiness, is centered around the external world: Control our external conditions in such a manner that our expectations and desires are always fulfilled. This solution demands you to constantly work attempting to fulfil all your desires: If poverty is causing you unhappiness you try to acquire wealth; if diseases are the source of your trouble you try to improve your health; if you don't like your boss you either overthrow him or change your job, etc.
It is trivial to prove that the second strategy described above is, in general, inferior to the first thereby demolishing the utility of 99.9999 percent or so of human preoccupation. It is inferior because of two reasons: Firstly it is not universal enough to tackle all situations. Secondly, even when it is applicable, it produces results which are qualitatively inferior to those obtained by the first strategy. After all, Emperors and Kings who had far greater control over their circumstances have been known to be very unhappy. All forms of social and political structures, moral and ethical codes, economic systems, charitable acts ... much of human endeavour towards global and local happiness is illusionary and waste of time. You should transform yourself, not the system. The authors of Upanishadic literature, it would be amusing to note, had considered it beneath their dignity to spend time proving this point! Their attitude is remarkable: `You think you can achieve happiness by controlling the external circumstances and satisfying your desires ?', they would have said, `go right ahead and try it out! When you are finally convinced it is a stupid venture, come back to me and I will tell you the Right Way'.
Getting back to the main theme, we have asserted that the key to human happiness lies in preventing the brain from producing uncontrolled responses to external stimuli. Once we acquire such perfect control over our brain, we can generate in it any state for any long period of time (and go high without drugs!). It certainly seems to be worth exploring further.
The trouble, you will doubtless point out, is that the brain is not a simple thing to control. Unless this idea can be translated into more concrete terms which anyone can put into practice in their day-to-day life, we might as well forget the whole thing. Just stop reading for five minutes to observe your mind and you will know how it functions. If you are an average individual you will notice that your mind triggers a series of thoughts based on previously stored memories or in response to the immediate external stimuli. In fact, most of our day-to-day activities are accompanied by uncontrolled - or at best partially controlled - thoughts in the brain triggered constantly by the environment and memories. Try drinking a cup of coffee thinking only about that cup of coffee. The chances are that, you will fail miserably; your thoughts will roam all over and will cover subjects quite disconnected with the cup of coffee in hand. Similarly, when we brush our teeth, take our bath, read our newspaper, say our prayers, write the important draft which the boss wanted, in all these actions we only involve a part of our brain. The rest of it is having a free ride thinking whatever it wants. Most of the time, these are low intensity, mildly diverging thoughts which does not cause any harm; so we indulgingly tolerate this poisonous habit of distraction. But every once in a while, the uncontrolled part of the brain, viz. the mind, gets stuck at a powerful thought current and repeatedly shoots it forth disturbing the other orderly part completely. And we feel miserable.
Where does the mind find so much of material to produce such a constant background noise of random thoughts ? It gets it from the vast storehouse of impressions and memories locked up in our brain. Usually, every action we perform and every thought which we think leaves a trace in our brain. These traces are constantly collected, co-ordinated and stored in the memory. As the bulk of information to be stored increases, layers of them are pushed down to a subconscious terrain over which we normally have no conscious access. But I am sure you have dreamt in your sleep about people and places of which you have no conscious recollection. In other words, the uncontrolled part of the brain, which we have called the mind, retains access to those pieces of information stored in the subconscious, even though the controlled part, the intellect, couldn't use it. It is this subconscious storehouse of Impressions which propels the mind.
We are thus led to the basic theoretical principle: The peace can be achieved by killing the mind and eliminating the stored impressions in the brain on which the mind thrives on. Note there is no such thing as `peaceful mind'; if you have a mind, you can't be peaceful! The conventional techniques of meditation attempt to do this along the following lines. One is told to provide something for the conscious mind to chew on and keep the mind at it. Once certain degree of concentration is achieved one tries to sink into a state of quietness by removing the original material given to chew on. For example, one may be given a mantra to chant on; as the chanting goes on, at some stage one could halt it abruptly. the time gap between the last chant and the moment when the first stray thought enters again will be a state of quietness. If this time gap can be increased with practice, one eventually can eliminate the chatter. Alternatively, one can try to chant the mantra more and more slowly with larger and larger gaps making sure that no stray thought enters in between. these gaps - as they become longer - will help to reduce chatter. Some tantric and Buddhist systems use the breath as a clutch to concentrate on; prayers etc are yet another means to provide the conscious mind with something to chew on.


Capability matruity Model - CMM Level 5

The following are the 5 levels of Software process maturity as per CMM

1. Initial Stage

a. company framework in place (management & employees)
b. Software Capability of Level 1 is unpredictable
c. Software process is ever changing
d. Performance depends on the few selective individuals and their capabilities

2. Repeatable

a. Requirements management
b. Software Project planning
c. Software project Trakcing and oversight
d. Software Subcontract management
e. Software Quality Assurance
f. Software COnfiguration management

3. Defined

a. Oragnization process focus
b. Organization process definition
c. Training programs
d. Integrated Software management
e. Software product engineering
f. Intergroup coordination
g. Peer reviews

4. Managed

a. Measurement management (Productivity & Quality)
b. Quantitiative information Collection and Data repository for Analysis
c. Risk management clearly defined
d. Contingency Mechanism (Corrective actions/steps laid out in case of problems)

5. Optimized

a. Defect prevention
b. technology Change Management
c. Process change management

Definitions Telephony

Average Speed Answer

The average amount of time it takes before the calls are being answered. This value indicates the time waiting in the queue and the time rining at the agent voice terminal.
Avg Speed Ans = Sum of each complete call in Queue + Time Ringing / Total No of ACD Calls Answered

Abandones Calls

The total number of ACD calls that have hung up while waiting to be answered. This includes calls abandoned while waiting in the queue or while ringing.

Avg Abandoned Time

The avergae time ebfore an ACD calls is abandoned

Avg Abnd Time = Total abandoned Time / Total No of abandoned Calls

Average Talk Time

The average duration of ACD calls for each split. This includes the time each agent spent talking but does not include ring time at agent voice terminal

Average Talk Time = Total ACD talk time / Total no of ACD calls Answered

Average After Call
The average ACW time for call related Aftercall work time completed by agents in a particular split during this time interval. Call related ACW is the the time that occurs immediately after an ACD call . Average after call does not include time spent on direct incoming or outgoing calls while in ACW or tiem that immediately follows an extension call.

Avg After Call = Total Call related AVW time / No of Call Related ACW sessions

Percentage of IN service Level

the percentage of calls answered within the administered service level for this split. Calculation is based on the following

%IN Serv level = Accepted * 100 / ACD calls + Abandons + Outflows + dequeued

Accepted - Calls answered whose queue time was less than or equal to the administered service level for the split.

Dequeued - Calls the encountered the split queue but which was not ANSWERED or abaondoned or outflowed.

Average Speed Answer

The average speed answer for ACD and connect calls that have completed for a particular VDN during the current period. THis includes the time in vector processing , in split's queue and time rining.

Avg Speed Ans = Total Answer Time / Total ACD Calls + Total connect Calls

Connect Calls - No of calls that w2ere routed to a station or attendant or announcement and was answered there.

Flow out - The no of calls that were routed to another VDN or a trunk including sucessfull look ahead attempts.

Outgoing time

The average holding time for outgoing calls during the specified reporting interval.

Outgoing Time = Total Holding time for Outgoing calls/ Total no of outgoing calls

Incoming time

The average holding time for incoming calls to a particular trunk group during the specified reporting interval. Holding time is defined as the length of the time in minutes and secodns that a facility is used during a call.

Incoming Time = Total Holding for all incoming calls / Total no of Incoming calls

Total Calls Offered

The total number of completed calls that accessed the VDN during the current interval.

Call Offered = Acd calls + flow out + Call Busy/Disc + Abandoned calls

Held Abandoned Calls
The number of calls that abandon while the caller is in hold mode. Held calls which tiem out and re alert are included in the held abandoned call count.

Time to Abandoned
The average amount of time that calls spedn in queue and or ringing at the console before the callers hangup , usually measured in seconds.

Time to Abandoned = Total Delay for all Aband calls / Total no of calls abandoned


It Happens

Leaving London to Madras in the next 3 hours. I thought i will pen these lines down real quick as it came in the dream

what will happen , will happen
you nor me , cannot change it then
but never lose the power to dream
treat your life as a vanilla cream

what will happen, if mishappened
dont blame yourself as fiend
the only way to transcend
is treat yourself as bestfriend

Upanishad & Bicycles -The Answer? - Part 3

The Direct Experience is the only way to bypass systems of thought, intellectual pre-conditioning and Aristotelian logic. But this Experience, by its very definition, is not communicable by standard procedures. This basic difficulty should be obvious. All standard forms of precise communication are isomorphic to verbalisation based on some system of generalised grammar; so how does one convey that which is beyond the systems of thought? No, one cannot communicate it in the usual sense of communication. (And if you are expecting to find the answer from any external source --- like this article --- you are wasting your time!) The only two attempts which were somewhat successful in communicating the uncommunicable, in last 10,000 years or so, are found in the Upanishads and the works of Zen masters. The approaches in these are different, but both are quite amusing:

Upanishads use an extremely clever technique of negation. You can always specify what It is not; and if you eliminate all that is not, whatever remains is It -- something Holmes did appreciate in more prosaic matters. This is the best logic can do. So Upanishads keep emphasising ``... That which cannot be described/probed by words or thoughts, That which cannot be arrived at by logical reasoning or powers of intellect...". You can use thoughts and mind to point to It like you can use the finger to point to moon; mind has as much to do with It as the finger has to the moon. The danger, of course, is that people grasp the finger and think they have got the moon. Most of the so called religious people belong to the class who have grasped some finger and keep insisting that it is the moon.

The approach by negation is not as mysterious as it is usually made out to be. When you learnt cycling, you probably thought you ``acquired balance" at some stage. Nonsense; you can never acquire balance. You can only eliminate imbalance. When you started out, you were struggling to remove every force of imbalance somewhat consciously. A moment arises when you `get it' and you can correct the imbalances unconsciously. What is left, is your natural state of balance on the cycle. If you are sensitive, you will also realise that it is you who created the imbalance in the first place. Translate this lesson into life at large and you can write an Upanishad.

"Wait a sec", one might say, "this is a gigantic swindle. After I have denied the existence of all that I know, thought of, seen ... what assurance do I have that something else remains ? It could be null set!". Sure. There is absolutely no guarantee that anything beyond what is recognised by the the brain and formulated by Aristotelian logic exists. You do this at your own risk! This is the Path of the Adventurer who wants to explore with no assurance that he will find anything or even that he will survive the trip. You don't want to Risk-It-All with no assurance of any kind ? Fine by me. Do continue as you are - may be you should stop reading this article now! I am not in this business to give you assurances. [Aside: While on this theme, what assurance did you have while starting to cycle and falling down innumerable times that you will eventually stop creating imbalances ? You can't prove it logically because I know guys who never managed to learn this skill who were otherwise normal. Of course you saw a vast majority could learn to cycle but that is no assurance for any single individual. You probably weighed the pros and cons - the chances of success, the utility and fun of being able to cycle, the number of bones you are willing to break,....- and took a chance. That is the point. There are no guarantees in this life; only probabilities.]

Let us get back to the second attempt to communicate the incommunicable, which Zen Masters tried. Zen tries to get you out of logic using situations which defies logic; the most well known example being the questions called `koans': like ``What is the sound of the single hand clapping?" The student is supposed to meditate on it. Since it has no ``logical" answer the mind and intellect grow tired at some stage and --- if the guy is still at it! --- the attention shifts to a deeper level and he reaches `satori' or nirvana.

The Upanishadic method is more direct and less mysterious but both work. Something I particularly like about the Upanishadic method is that anyone could have discovered it on his own over a weekend's thought and --- if they come across the Upanishads at some later stage --- tell himself ``Oh I see, these guys have also got it ok"! In fact, that is the best way to do it. Nobody needs gods, god-men or gurus; creators dont need interpretors. Instead, if you try to "study" [or much worse, understand!] an Upanishad, you will get absolutely nowhere. This is particularly true of the Upanishads which appear to be very logical (like Mandukya)! Your situation will be similar to the pole-vaulter who refuses to let go off the pole after reaching the peak. "What a wonderful pole without which I could not have come this far! I will hold on to it and get to the other side" - only to find that him and the pole crashes down. Logic in Upanishads is the pole which can take to this far and no farther - and if you hold on to it you fall back on where you started. Never read an Upanishad until you are ready to write one. Zen Masters are more direct in this regard; they attack the logic right from the start giving you no illusions.

Is it that easy ? Yes, it is easy. In fact it is easier than most other artificial things one tries to excel at --- say, swimming or tennis or chess or research (I wasn't frivolous in the first para when I said making pancakes is a different ball game). Human body and nervous system are probably not naturally programmed to swim (for one thing, nature didn't provide us with fins) or contemplate weird shapes on a board of alternating colours or study atomic physics. One needs to put in artificial effort. On the other hand we are naturally programmed to discover the Answer and we struggle hard every moment not to see It! This has to do with a deep sense of insecurity one feels in going beyond mind. From childhood, we are familiar with the mind and we feel --- most of the time --- comfortable with it. As one probes oneself deeply, there will arise a stage at which one simply has to take the plunge into the unknown --- with no previous experience or guarantees! One's mind usually resists it and clings on; one has to gently give up the clinging and slide into another state. The rational, intellectual mind is suddenly going to be sacrificed for something which is beyond logic and reason and the rational intellect doesn't like it one bit. Very clear thinking, which requires an ultra-sharp intellect, can prepare you better for this because a such an intellect can (intellectually) appreciate the limitations of intellect. (A sharp but not-so-sharp guy will think intellect is all-powerful!). But even this preparation is not much help - you just need nerves! .

In fact, the key reason for most of humanity preferring the non-answers is that one likes the comfort of ignorance and is too insensitive to the avoidable struggle which goes with it. In a way, all these hurdles can be summarised by one word: ``clinging". We cling. We cling to life's possessions, life, our body, our memories, our intelligence, our preoccupation of verbalisation. Let go off the clinging and you are done. In fact, Rishis of yore, with the characteristic devotion to details, have formalised the letting-go-procedure (Oh, you thought American psychiatrists invented it ? Sorry, no. They merely misuse it.) in an ancient ritual called ``viraja homam" --- which is the last ritual performed by anyone before entering sanyasa. This ritualistic sacrifice in front of a fire, involves a conscious listing of several possessions and taking a vow to renounce them. The mantras accompanying the ritual goes like "I am now burning my clinging to money", "I am now burning my clinging to land and material possessions", "I am now burning my clinging to wife, children and other relatives", "I am now burning my clinging to my body, mind and intellect", "I am now burning my clinging to life and the visible universe" ....., You die so as to live.

``That is all fine," you feel like saying, ``but what is actually the Answer ? You haven't told me that". No one can ``tell" you the Answer any more than I did, without killing Its essence. You have to do the rest on your own and let your logic and intellect self-destruct without any assurance of what will become of you! You don't have that courage? Sorry, friend. Then kindly go away and suffer and suffer miserably. I sincerely hope you suffer really really badly so that you will start searching. The trouble with our upper middle class, uneducated literates, is that they don't really suffer; also they are not intelligent enough to learn from other people's suffering. Something which is not appreciated about the Prince Siddhartha --- who later became Buddha --- is the following fact: that guy was really sharp. The story goes that he led a sheltered life in his palace during his early youth without coming in contact with any misery. One day, when he managed to slip out, he saw an old, sickly man and a dead body and he could draw all the relevant conclusions from it; it was probably the greatest intellectual achievement any human being made --- the only other exception possibly being Shankara. We should all feel ashamed that though we were never sheltered in a palace and have known old age and death (and much worse, just turn on the CNN), we continue to miss their significance. We are insensitive cowards (and fairly dumb ones at that, irrespective of any Nobel prizes and wealth we amass; remember, wealthy and Nobel laureates die) if we don't search for It. Just shows most of the people are dumber than some prince of north India in the simple, brain teaser, I.Q sense of the word.

And remember that if you really want the Answer, you will get it in no time, literally. Most people really don't want the answer. They are generally happy with the world and all these philosophy stuff for them are some kind of side business, intellectual past time to appear cultured on coffee tables; sure, when your child dies or you get hepatitis you brood over Deep Questions for 15 minutes a day but you will get over it ... until the next disaster comes along. There is nothing you don't have which Jesus or Buddha or Krishna had so that they claim they know It - except a honest desire to know and Courage to search. Think very very carefully: Do you really want it ? Or is it just an optional extra along with coffee in the morning and PGW in the evening in this broadly-all-right world ? Do you have it in you to walk alone in a long way leaving it all behind with zero assurance of getting anywhere ? Does that sense of adventure grab you ? If not, forget it, get nice jobs, get married, get creative, produce children, do social work [which helps in pretending a "meaningful existence"], try to become a Beethoven/Einstein/...., cry a lot, laugh a lot and die in a few decades worn out, tired, afraid, confused in some nondescript way, adding to statistics of humanity. RIP.

So the key question is: Can you reject your whole world the way you see it now? You have to reject yourself, your memory banks, intellect, ...the entire lot. [Except that once you reject it totally, you get it all back with a very different relationship! In fact you will find that you never really had it all until you really went through the rejection process.] You don't want to do it? perfectly fine with me. There are several "answers" available within that framework; I have listed some of them in the first para. Choose any one of them and live happily thereafter and die; you won't be the first or the last to do it; since all those answers are wrong it doesn't matter what you choose. In fact, have a different one for each day of the week! It is always easier for people to accept god-men who bill by hour than Zen masters with sticks. Treating cancers with vanishing creams has an appealing gentleness about it.

But where is Love, Compassion, Concern for humanity, Honesty, ..... in this scheme? They all exist in the domain of mind and intellect along with Hatred, Dishonesty .... perfectly balanced. No choices you are capable of making in your current state, in the intellectual plane, is any better than any other choice. In fact, you can't do any good to others without first doing good to yourself. Actually, 90 percent of the trouble in the world is caused by the well intentioned, semi-compassionate ones. If you will give your shirt to any beggar you see and walk in the cold, you are a Buddha. If you carefully calculate and give 3.86 percent of your monthly income to CRY you are not a Buddha. And if it gets into your ego, helps to quieten a ill defined guilt feeling then you are worse than the guy who won't give anything. If tears come to you when you hear about any death because of your concern for the sadness it has caused to others, you are compassionate; if you cry only when those close to you die, you are selfish. You are crying for yourself- not others.

I am not judging world harshly anymore than a mathematician proving Pythagoras theorem is judging a triangle with 27, 32, 121 degrees harshly. I prove that if one angle is 90 degrees, a^2+b^2=c^2 and leave it at that. You jump up and down saying `` How dare you say only if one angle is 90 degrees it will happen ? What about all those poor little triangles with 27,32,121 degrees, hoping to have a^2+b^2=c^2?. This mathematician is terribly cruel and harsh and I reject him; I shall lead a life of compassion and love for the upliftment of 27,32,121 degree triangles [without changing their angles, of course]". You have to realise that the Zen masters and Rishis are as helpless as the mathematician. They can't but tell the Truth!

If that disturbed you, the positive side is the following: If you wanted to be an Einstein or Tendulkar, you probably can't. You may not have what is required. But if you only want to achieve some simple thing like becoming a Lao Tse or Buddha or Jesus, why, that is trivial! Go ahead and do it! You have in you what it takes.

``But," you may ask, ``it is crazy to ask one to give up clinging which seems so-o-oo natural! why do you think I cling ?". The honest answer to this question puts people off: you cling because you are an insensitive, cowardly, idiot. Insensitive, the way I described in Sidharth's story; cowardly because you are afraid of the Unknown; idiot because you don't think logically.

Is there a more polite, nicer, less hurting way of saying this? Can one take somebody from where they are [with all the insensitivity, cowardice and stupidity] and ``lead them to Light". The honest answer is ``no". There is no substitute for the Zen Master's stick. There is no way to sugar coat the pill since --- in the first place --- there is no magic pill! All religions, all intellectual philosophies, all gurus --- from Krishna, Jesus, Buddha down to the Local God who cures your tooth-ache and performs miracles --- are dealing in falsehood and Truth is not a minor re-parametrised version of falsehood. No one can take you There except yourself. There are no methods, no techniques.

Is there a ``less honest" answer ? Well, there is. In fact, there are several, since falsehood is infinitely diverse. Among them, many are so provably false that it doesn't appeal to the clever-but-not so-clever guys. One can, however, device a very clever falsehood which is so appealing that it is often taken for the truth. This one is called ``meditation" and sells well nowadays. The concept of meditation can be presented in the domain of intellect and hence it deals with verbalisable statements based on standard logic; consequently, it is --- in the ultimate sense --- totally useless for our purpose. But it is useless in a remarkable way, which is worth analysing


Hold me now, Hold me now,
for am free falling in love, inside you
Love me now, Love me now
for i cant breathe this air outside you
Know me now, Know me now
i cant be with anyone than you
Rock me now, Rock me now
i want to sleep thinking of you
Dont leave me now, Dont leave me now
i cant imagine this world without you